Sunday, February 11, 2007

some more ramblings

Sunday Feb.11: I had a powerful dream last night. I was at a church conference/service in an unknown location. The speaker was Scottish- and as he was talking, I got the sense that the people didn't want to hear what he was saying and I was was even more interested to know exactly what he was saying. In my heart/spirit I could sense he was going to be saying something that God really wanted us to know- but as people got more uncomfortable, two guys came on stage and escorted him off. I was furious! I started to boo- and yell "that's not right- let him speak! We need to hear it!" I felt that they (and the majority of the people there) were not open to hearing what this man had to say- one particular thing I remember about this man was he was Scottish. so- fast forward to church this morning (in real life-not dream life)- Alan Simpson (a guest speaker who has been doing this conflict resolution thing with my church along with a team of people) was speaking about how we often take sides with things (especially with church)- it's either my way, or your way.....but so often we forget "what is God's way in this?". I have learned a few things about myself both through a conflict resolution class at school- and that same night at my church (from a biblical perspective but same principles). I know that i am the kind of person who doesn't like conflict, but one thing I've learned is that conflict happens no matter what and how I deal with it matters. So, in my dream, speaking up like that was out of character for me- but I feel like my heart was bursting and couldn't take it any longer- and the words and sounds that came out of my mouth were an outpouring of what i was feeling at that moment. I also got the sense that we as a nation, a church, a people, ect are shutting God out of so many things instead of letting His voice be heard. And just what is God saying now? to you to me to everyone?

So what does this mean for me now? Should I take a stand on more things (even though it makes me feel uncomfortable and I don't always feel confident enough to say something)?

Here's what I learned about being a highly sensitive person- based on a book by Elaine Aron called "the highly sensitive person" (a test I took from the lady from the Justice Institute doing my conflict class:

it is an inherited trait (that shows up physically and emotionally).Only about 15-20% of the population has it and people who don't have it may not understand people who have it (hence, one of the reasons I feel like no one really gets me!). I got 20/22 on this test btw....

so the negatives of having this trait:

difficulties with highly stimulating environment, highly stimulated by anger earlier on, don't have good boundaries, a people-pleaser..

the positives:
Often responds to false alarms (this can be a positive in situations where we HSP use our intuition too pick up on stimuli around us, take it and mull over facts and analyze them- MAYBE EVEN SAVE A LIFE BECAUSE OF IT, and my favorite: tend to put ourselves into CHALLENGING SITUATIONS:), and we are more affected by outside stimulation.

God- thank-you for making me me- and that You can use me (even though you don't really need me anyways, but you desire to include me in your plans and purposes)

For those of you interested Elaine Aron has also written a book entitled "the highly sensitive person in love"

If anyone wants to take this test let me know and I will post the questions, scoring, ect on the blog.

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