can you tell it's midterms week for me???

this is the new location for my paris picture...

I think the white lites make it look classy;)

Z posing on my bed (he's not really sleeping....

Z and I hanging out in my room..

my prego roomate!

Z (M andD' s 2 year old son) actually took this pic!

Some snap shots of my life these past couple of days..

This is some pics that I took (the bottom 2) and one I printed off from the internet and framed it in a double paned glass frame- like it?

On being a twin...

I was thinking about what to write about this week when the thought occurred to me "Keegan- you need to write about what it's like being an identical twin". So here are my thoughts:

So- I walk onto the Trinity Western Campus (this was a few years ago when I'd first moved to the Fraser Valley, I was on crutches as I'd just had surgery). I don't attend Trinity but my twin sister, Jennica, does (she grads in May/June!). I look around, not expecting anyone to approach me. Then I see this handsome young man smiling at me LIKE HE KNOWS ME! Then the thought occurs to me: He thinks I am Jennica- to which I say "Um, you probably think I'm Jennica....." to which he awkwardly apologizes and walks away. As I pass by other people, I sense some dirty looks, some puzzled expressions and i am thinking "they think I am her and I am ignoring them- so now I am giving her a bad reputation! Oh and they think that Jennica has somehow injured herself. Rats. Okay- so another young man approaches- right away I explain that I in fact am not who he thinks- to which he replies "ACTUALLY I KNOW YOU- YOU'RE KEEGAN, AND I MET YOU AT A PARTY LAST WEEK." Okay, woops;) Somehow this twin thing is NOT helping me in the guy department- go figure...

My whole life thus far- as long as in the same proximity as Jenn is explaining that -no I am not her. And yes we are different people..It has worked out as a way to meet new people if I just don't say anything right away and have a nice conversation with the person without explaining who I am (don't you just wish that anytime you meet someone you could just skip the formalities and just really talk about life). Everyone asks the same questions: have you girls ever tricked anyone? Do you dress the same? Ever get in trouble as her? Have any weird twin moments? I entertain the questions but I think Jenn gets more of a kick out of it.

I find as I meet new people and share who I am- the fact that I am a twin does not come up- it used to be the first thing- but now if Jennica were to come to my church or school people who freak out and start thinking she was me.

I find that now the older the get the more unique and different I am from her- but at the same time we have our connection where we finish each other's sentences and don't talk because there is no need for words. I love that deep, best friend connection I have with her, there's nothing else like it.

My dear friend Amy

I just received an e-mail from my friend Amy who is living and teaching in Prince George, BC- or "Up North" as she calls it- her friend Jeff
www.jeffpaetkau.ca
took these pics. She is so beautiful and I miss you very much- I think this calls for a phone call from my house to yours Amy!

my new care group

You know that verse in the Psalms that says "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart" Well one of my biggest desires has been to lead a young ladies bible study- partly because I really want to be a part of one, and part of me wants to take on a leadership role. So, I've been going to this new church for a few months now and the young adults pastor asked me to lead this group! I am so stoked- we've met twice, we are currently doing a series on Nooma- which is thought provoking, gets us thinking and talking as us girls get to know each other better. I am so blessed to have these young ladies- and it's something that we have all desired is to be in a safe group where we can talk about our faiths,struggles, life issues, and just pray and seek God together. Best of all- we are all in our mid-twenties, and going though a lot of the same stuff. Also, because I am the only student in the group, and we are doing a dvd series, I might miss our next meeting because of mid-terms, but it's totally okay cause the Nooma dvd's come with a study guide that is simple and easy too use (so I am basically replaceable- sorta:)

some more ramblings

Sunday Feb.11: I had a powerful dream last night. I was at a church conference/service in an unknown location. The speaker was Scottish- and as he was talking, I got the sense that the people didn't want to hear what he was saying and I was was even more interested to know exactly what he was saying. In my heart/spirit I could sense he was going to be saying something that God really wanted us to know- but as people got more uncomfortable, two guys came on stage and escorted him off. I was furious! I started to boo- and yell "that's not right- let him speak! We need to hear it!" I felt that they (and the majority of the people there) were not open to hearing what this man had to say- one particular thing I remember about this man was he was Scottish. so- fast forward to church this morning (in real life-not dream life)- Alan Simpson (a guest speaker who has been doing this conflict resolution thing with my church along with a team of people) was speaking about how we often take sides with things (especially with church)- it's either my way, or your way.....but so often we forget "what is God's way in this?". I have learned a few things about myself both through a conflict resolution class at school- and that same night at my church (from a biblical perspective but same principles). I know that i am the kind of person who doesn't like conflict, but one thing I've learned is that conflict happens no matter what and how I deal with it matters. So, in my dream, speaking up like that was out of character for me- but I feel like my heart was bursting and couldn't take it any longer- and the words and sounds that came out of my mouth were an outpouring of what i was feeling at that moment. I also got the sense that we as a nation, a church, a people, ect are shutting God out of so many things instead of letting His voice be heard. And just what is God saying now? to you to me to everyone?

So what does this mean for me now? Should I take a stand on more things (even though it makes me feel uncomfortable and I don't always feel confident enough to say something)?

Here's what I learned about being a highly sensitive person- based on a book by Elaine Aron called "the highly sensitive person" (a test I took from the lady from the Justice Institute doing my conflict class:

it is an inherited trait (that shows up physically and emotionally).Only about 15-20% of the population has it and people who don't have it may not understand people who have it (hence, one of the reasons I feel like no one really gets me!). I got 20/22 on this test btw....

so the negatives of having this trait:

difficulties with highly stimulating environment, highly stimulated by anger earlier on, don't have good boundaries, a people-pleaser..

the positives:
Often responds to false alarms (this can be a positive in situations where we HSP use our intuition too pick up on stimuli around us, take it and mull over facts and analyze them- MAYBE EVEN SAVE A LIFE BECAUSE OF IT, and my favorite: tend to put ourselves into CHALLENGING SITUATIONS:), and we are more affected by outside stimulation.

God- thank-you for making me me- and that You can use me (even though you don't really need me anyways, but you desire to include me in your plans and purposes)

For those of you interested Elaine Aron has also written a book entitled "the highly sensitive person in love"

If anyone wants to take this test let me know and I will post the questions, scoring, ect on the blog.

the life of this student nurse

I really have been seeing bit and pieces of who Jesus is lately in people around me. First and foremost- I see Him in my patients at the hospital. Talk about peace that surpasses all understanding, these people are going through so much physical and emotional crap- all of them in their 80's, and they praise God through it all. That blesses my socks off and makes my day. Patient after patient I had was exuding this peace to me, so I had to say something- so to my last patient on Friday before I went home- I told him how I could see Jesus in him, and that all the patients I've had have been christians I think, based on their bibles faithfully read at their bedsids, their pastors praying over them, and their constant sense of peace that affected me profoundly. He responding with a verse from his electronic bible: can't remember the verse but something about knowing who the christians are by the fruit/gifts in their life. I could have cried- and I should have hugged the man! I am so amazingly blessed.

bugs, morgues and music...

So this week I was going to go get my lunch from the locker room at the hospital, which happens to be right next to the morgue. No biggy- I've been passing the morgue for almost 3 years now so it doesn't really bother me. Except one of my classmates pointed out a big spider coming out from under the door, which apparently had been there since the morning! So, it kinda made me a little freaked out, thinking about all the creepy things lying beyond the door, dead bodies and whatnot. Ok- so doom forward to Saturday night: I am enjoying some live classical music at an old church in Chilliwack. I am relaxed, loving the tunes, the atmosphere, everything - I am drinking it all in....then I notice it. A ladybug which, by count of the dots is an elderly specimen. I am a little freaked out cause it appeared on the back of this older guy's coat. I was no longer even hearing the music- but am watching this little bug crawl over this man's jacket! I am thinking "a ladybug in February! I never knew they exist!" and then as it flew away and landed on his wife's back, I was creepily reminded of the big morgue spider.....then it starts making it's way to her hair....no- not the hair! I planned my move- I would flick it off to the ground. I ended up sending it to the floor with not even a flinch from the woman- she had no idea...so then I had to see where the little bug landed- and couldn't find him, and felt I could not rest in peace and enjoy the rest of the show until I found it on the floor. So, the kid at the end of the row had been watching my antics and the bug- and he pointed out the ladybug shortly after- whereupon I was able to relax and enjoy the show. My old guitar teacher was on the classical guitar (and in a tux), a Russian man was on the oboe, and this young woman was on the piano- they played some 17th century Mozart, and other artist I can't remember or spell. Best of all I got in for free! UCFV students get in for free to the Chilliwack Academy of Music concerts- so student out there keep your ears and eyes open for the next concert.